Infertility

sucks.
That is pretty much all I have to say as I read news of so many pregnancies on facebook. I smile, and "like" and congratulate. I shove the sad down and move on. I look at my husband carrying the dog like a baby and know he deserves a child of his own. I cry. Sad for the babies I lost, hopeful for the future. Some day, maybe.

When I grow up

2011 is gone, and good riddance. This last year was one of the worst... it completely topped every painful year of high school (best years of our lives my flat ass) topped the year my husband and I separated (back together now of course) and all the other "worst year evers". It started out fine, but Kate's transplant failed in April, my grandfather died in May, then my mscarriage, many more hospital visits for Kate, Nikkis gall bladder and subsequent lactose issue, then my tubal and surgery. It even went out with a bang, finding Nik and I decorating a hospital room on New Years Eve so Kate would have something nice to look at after blood transfusion #9 and surgery #5. I am not complaining though, merely leading up to what I want to say, which is life is short, and you never know when crap is gonna fly at you in all directions and maybe I need to get some shit figured out...before a baby comes (maybe this year?) Before 30 rears its head, in July, before I grow up and realize I let life go by, and let too many experiences happen to me, instead of creating them.
I have no clue how to do this, but it's time to at least try...
To write that book
To learn tattoo
To start that business
To travel more, experience more, live more.

Wish me luck. I'll need it!

First post from blogger app on the new thrive

Just playing around with it.... the dogs are fighting.... Bandit is the Christmas present Kioko didn't want :-)

holy shit its christmas

I got a tablet...so now maybe ill post more often! probably not.

yep, still suck at this

I am a bad blogger! I'd rather spend my time looking at everyone elses pretty, finished blog posts than make one of my own!

Some I'm loving now -
www.bedifferentactnormal.com
www.mommywantsvodka.com
www.bloggess.com
www.hyperboleandahalf.com
www.jennsylvania.com

That is only a small few of the blogs I read often. I will at some point actually blog here...y'know...maybe.

Some possible topic ideas:
My upcoming trip to Vegas
My moms upcoming bday party
My house renovations
My dog...cuz I love her
Having a baby---will I? Won't I?

I'll get there some day

Is it Sunday? It feels like Sunday...

Merry Christmas!
What is it about these 2 dys that make me feel like it is always a Sat/Sun? I am all sorts of freaking confused. Perhaps it is the whirlwind that is Christmas for us. Grandmas, moms, mother in laws, Dads...run run run. I am definitely not complaining...I LOVE it. We laugh and cry and drink and play games and sleep and eat...oh God do we eat!

Look soon for posts regarding my lovely new mixer, with photos taken with my lovely new camera (y'know, if I figure out how to use it)

If I win it I'll make goofy things!

Be Different Act Normal (great blog name!) is giving away a silhouette on her review blog. I entered...I'm crossing my fingers!